Watch out Willmar, I'm Comin to Town

Last night, after briefly eavesdropping/contributing to a Facebook conversation which my brother was having with a friend, I decided that I am cynical almost to the point of absurdity; what pushed me to make this realization? Christian Music...and specifically a back and forth about the Sonshine "Music" festival.

First of all, c'mon you couldn't have thought of a better name? Here are a few off the top of my head:

- Jesound
- Virgestival
- Soulabration
- Musatholic
- Heavolume

(Alright I do realize that most music festivals have absurdly stupid names, but Sonshine...)

So as the back and forth between my brother and his friend continued, it was made clear that neither my brother's or my opinion (both looking at a Christian Music festival as not our idea of fun) could be credible since we "hadn't experienced Sonshine."

I guess that statement was 100 percent the truth...so I decided to do a little research on the festival website, because heck, it might just be something that is secretly AWESOME. The first thing that you will notice (and if you want to play a long with me and make your own informed decisions about possibly attending Sonshine well here is the link) is that the full name of Sonshine isn't the "Sonshine Music Festival" but is actually the "Sonshine Family and Friends Festival."

Hmm omitting the word music seems a little suspect... (Is that some kind of admission by the festival promoters that the sounds heard at Sonshine can't be legally classified as music?)

Ok, back to exploring the website, prominently displayed on the front page is youtube player, which starts with some christian rock band's music playing over a slideshow of black and white pictures of Minnesota, and... homeless people - And then ends with a plea for coat donations - because I know if I was homeless the thing I'd want most wouldn't be a home, job or filling meal, but would actually be a donated coat.

Oh and if you keep going with the related videos, you'll begin to notice that they like to use the word Sonshine a lot... I wonder why?

I guess I'll move on to the festival lineup, which by the looks of it all went to the same portrait studio. Does being in a Christian rock band mean that your press photo has to use the same photoshop effect? I have heard a few of these bands (not by free will, but by my third extra roommate during sophomore year.) and do you want to know a secret? (They aren't very good). I could possibly tolerate the lyrical content if the music had any redeeming quality, but it is pretty much the same boring power cords and pseudo-metal riffs that have already been used to death by Creed and Nickelback.

Probably the most enticing thing about Sonshine seems to be the price, which is a measly 89 dollars for 4 days with camping included - but there in lies a huge problem for me, the only thing worse then tenting in a huge field with a bunch of hippies would be the same scenario - but with christians. At the very least, hippies are on loads of illegal drugs when they are talking about peace, love and the environment - Christians are just high on their own brand of self delusion. Also hippies occasionally play Bob Marley or Sublime on their guitars.

Man, see how I realized I'm cynical?

Oh Snap!

The Chronicles of Narnia is an official sponsor.

That settles it, I'm there.